Your Ally Within: AFFIRMATIVE WEAPONS

Affirmations will help you allow yourself to do it.  An affirmation is a positive statement of (positive) belief, and if we can become one-tenth as good at positive self-talk as we are at negative self-talk, we will notice an enormous change. Affirmations help achieve a sense of safety and hope.  When we first start working with affirmations, they may feel dumb, hokey and embarrassing.  But saying nice things about ourselves is notoriously hard to do.  It feels pretty awful at first.  Thy these and see if they don't sound hopelessly syrupy:

• I deserve love.
• I deserve fair pay
• I deserve a rewading creative life.
• I am a brilliant and successful artist.
• I have rich cretive talents.
• I am competent and confident in my creative work.

Did your Censor perk its nasty little ears up??  Censors loathe anything that sounds like real self-worth.  they immediately start up with the imposter routine.  "Who do you think you are?"
Just try picking an affirmation.  For example "I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter."Write that ten times in a row

1. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
2. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
3. I, Oscar Zepedda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
4. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
5. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
6. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
7. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
8. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
9. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.
10. I, Oscar Zepeda, am a brilliant and prolific painter.

While your are busy doing that,  something very interesting will happen. Your Censor will start to object.  "Hey, wait a minute.  You can't say all that positive stuff around me."  Objections will start to pop up like burnt toast.  These are your blurts.  Listen to the objections.  Look at the ugly, stumpy little blurts.  "Brilliant and prolific... sure you are... Since when??   Can't paint !!   Can't Sell any of paintings !!  Who are you kidding ??  Who do you think you are ???  etc... etc.... etc.....

You'll be amazed at the rotten things your subconscious will blurt out.  Write them down.  These blurts flag your personal negative core beliefs.  They hold the key to your freedom in the ir ugly little claws.  Make a list of your personal blurts.  Where do your blurts come from?  Mom?  Dad?? Teachers ? Friends or Family ?  Using your list of blurts, scan your past for possible sources.  At least some of them will spring violently to mind.  One effective way to locate the sources is to time-travel.  Break your life into five-year incredments, and list by name your major influences in each time block. 

(Re-Read Page 35 in the Artist's Way book about Paul)

Turn now to your own list ofblurts.  They are very important to your recovery.  Each of them has held you in bondage.  Each of them must be dissolved.  For example, a blurt that runs, "I, Fred, am untalented and phony" might be converted to the affirmation "I, Fred, am genuinely talented."  Use your affirmations after your Morning Pages and also use any of the Creative Affirmations listed.